Musings of a River
by LadyRainStarDragon
Summary: In the tradition of my Promise of a River this collection will follow the adult and whole Nigihayami Kohakunushi as he ponders events. First thought, life and novels.
1. My Life is a Novel

Musings of a River

Inspired Originally by Miyazaki's "Spirited Away"

Author: LadyRainStarDragon

My Life Is Someone's Novel

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Note: Yes, the novel discussed is real. Check out my profile. I just couldn't resist this existential idea... At least it isn't more of the evil lemons that squirt acid in your eyes and burn your throat if it's already raw from a cold.

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The fire crackled in the wood heater, the kotatsu indeed reminding the dragons of a rather small dragon as the crimson leaves draped off of the trees in the crisp autumn night's air. The pine of the shrine home spoke softly of the years it had seen, and of the years it would see if granted the beneficence of the river kami to prevent high floods.

Nigihayami Kohakunushi turned another page in the novel that he was reading, some new thing from America that had arrived in the mail that day about a pair of oddly familiar lovers. His emerald green eyes took on a thoughtful depth as he read the page, and then looked up at his friend, his dark hair caught back for once so that it would stop curtaining around him.

The form sitting across the kotatsu was reading a copy of his own, blushing a deep magenta and running his fingers nervously through his short and unkempt obsidian dark hair. The chocolate eyes had taken on a muddy cast as the two had progressed further through the book.

"My life is a novel!"

Haku did his best to contain his mirth, but failed. The laughter spilled out of him like water spilled out of Ten's spring to feed his river, but muffled by stuffing his billowing sleeves in his mouth to keep his sleeping mate from being disturbed.

"It's not funny Haku!"

"Wasn't it Chihiro that was always complaining that her life was a soap opera? Now you are going to complain that yours in a novel?"

Ryu held up the book, pointing at the romantic moment captured forever on the green cover, his hair nearly writhing in his distress.

"You don't find it disturbing that some woman has either been spying on my mate and I, or somehow is causing all of the tragedies in my life... like what happened two years ago? What about that anime that featured you and Chihiro?"

"Your point?"

Ryu opened the book, nearly ripping it apart in his frustration, his finger falling onto the page.

"Look, I never knew that was how Obisdian died, or at least that Big Foot was his friend and was there when it happened! Or that the Queso moron came over here on the same plane BlowingWind did. How does this woman know this? And she didn't even change our names!"

Haku sighed, and closed his copy. Drawing something out of one sleeve, he brandished it like it was a gohei, or streamer bedecked wand for a cleansing ceremony.

"At least you weren't sent a Chihiro plushie, and you don't get fifty love letters a day from women and young girls that you have never and will never meet. I will NEVER use my young form again. At least you have been getting letters calling you a scaly coyote, although some of my hate mail has called me perverted and obsessive. I'm not human, age means little to me, and somehow some people take that to mean I was sexually attracted to a child. NOOOOOO! That started when she became fertile, and when we were young she would have been fair game and I could have been spared all that guilt! At least people don't watch you over and over again and drool over you."

A knock sounded at the front door, and then the visitor let himself in before either of the spirits could get up to approach the door. Yet another Japanese dragon pretending to be human entered the room, closing the door against the night.

"Ryu... did you actually do that while she was unconscious? I knew you were serious about taking care of every need of anyone you are caring for, but wow. It's not as bad as you think at first since it's a necessary thing at that stage... but I'm surprised you survived as long as you did after."

Ryu threw his book at Ten while Haku stifled more laughter.

"Ryu, you know that somewhere out there, eyes are reading this right now."

Ten grinned where he was now hiding behind the caught book.

"So what does that mean about your little mating with innocent Chihiro? You won't believe what I've managed to dig up on fanfiction about the two of you. It looks like you were on AFF also, but some problems ate those. Too bad, those were my favorite versions, even if only for some friendly blackmail."

Haku dropped his copy of "Dragon Shaman" in surprise.

"You have got to be joking. My life is not only caught in anime, but thousands of people out there are writing fan fiction based on my life?"

"I'd say a bit more than that. This mystery woman seems to either be a dragon herself, has bribed cat and others close to us for information, or is somehow very close to us right now, writing down everything that we say."

"How is this person doing this?"

Haku drifted over to a window and looked out into the night, gazing up at the stars through the glass as the trees began to dance in the wind. Reaching out with his senses, he could feel many eyes. Out of these some were stronger than others, perhaps those were the fan fiction writers. Others were a weaker presence, only readers.

"Remember that talk we had about alternate realities, parallel dimensions, concurrent incarnations, and the like?"

Haku continued looking out the window as he spoke.

"What if we, and all we think is real, is just a product of someone's imagination? What if we aren't real at all? Or what if all these people are writing things that they think are just stories, but they are really dreaming of us, and that is where they get their ideas from?"


	2. Disordered Mind

Musings of a River  
Inspired Originally by Miyazaki's "Spirited Away"  
Author: LadyRainStarDragon  
Disordered Mind

Now, the scroll begins.

* * *

Ryu is now lurking in the depths of the lair that he once shared here with his bride, and Ten is reading his new favorite book in one of the spare rooms. My own bride is asleep in our bed, and our child Gawakusa in the nursery, yet I myself can not sleep. So it is that once more I pull out a scroll to write down my thoughts and memories, here in the confines of my bride's office and surrounded by her soothing scent of cherries. 

I have found it worrisome to discover that my life and the lives of my own are recorded in various places and not penned by our own hands. Believing that perhaps Ten was only joking about some of the things that he has found on the Internet, I have cajoled the computer to not spit at me long enough to see these stories for myself.

I find myself horror struck. Some of my most intimate moments are out for everyone to view. Some stories I see are nothing that I have experienced thankfully, but the scariest thoughts are perhaps that some of the stories are truly alternate realities, and that someone has followed my second youth, and even mentioned the absolutely horrifying experiences that I have had with the yuna at Aburaya.

Even this new scroll that I start may not be safe. When I return from my business next month, I may just find this first entry. I do not believe that I will tell Chihiro about this, she has so much to worry about without my very real and yet very silly worries.

And to think that on one community I had found my diary on I was called perverted. I don't know whether to agree that yes because of my nature as a dragon and being concerned with fertility I can be VERY perverted by Western standards even though I am VERY repressed as dragons go… or to be insulted… or even amused. Perhaps Ryu and Ten are rubbing off on me, or perhaps I am merely following in the obsessive footsteps of my father.

The night grows short. Although my mind is still reeling, I must go to my mate. It will be long before I can hold her again, or smell her, or taste her honey sweet lips. Something is changing, and I do not know what. She is changing, and it is not her normal waxing and waning of fertility, but something else about her body, as if she is being re-ordered every time she sleeps. No outside force is accomplishing this, of it I am certain. Is it perhaps that I am unknowing having some affect on her? Am I responsible for the coolness with which she regards things now save for our daughter? What is happening to my bride?

In taking her for my own, what have I done?


	3. Sudden Rage

Musings of a River  
Inspired Originally by Miyazaki's "Spirited Away"  
Author: LadyRainStarDragon

Chapter: Sudden Rage

Once again, after the events of Rivers Keep Flowing, threads get tangled...

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Raina frowned, her long moonlight blue hair flowing in the gentle breezes as she watched the young woman that mediated between the world of man and her own world

Raina frowned, her long moonlight blue hair flowing in the gentle breezes as she watched the young woman that mediated between the world of man and her own world. Several spirits and deity used the girl for their mouthpiece, and it was nothing new for a minor rain spirit to share with others. It was also not rare for those that served as priests and priestesses to be minor spirits themselves through rebirth.

Her silver eyes narrowed in thought as the object of her gaze slumped in her computer chair, Rain's long brown hair spilling haphazardly over her shoulders. Clad in blue jeans slit up the front, and a powder blue baby tee graced with a blue dragon, it was a welcome change from the usual rumbled pajama-clad young woman that had become so usual to see. Rain's chest heaved a little as the woman swallowed a sob.

Raina could never understand what loneliness was. She had always been complete in herself, and had never been moved in the least to become human. How much stranger for a storm dragon to have become human and incarnated as one. Still, there were worse choices that she could attach herself to, and the girl was sincere.

Raina placed her pale hand on the girl's shoulder, and the young woman flinched away so violently that her cola spilled over the half-done drawing on the stand beside her. Rain did not notice the mess that she had made, calming under the firm grip the spirit applied once the energy was recognized.

"This is bad Kyuryu." The minor goddess tightened her grip more, enough that it would cause pain in some others. The priestess seemed to welcome this. "I don't like seeing this level of depression in her."

"Nor do I." A voice agreed, a warm golden swirl of energy that softly overlapped her own. "I don't know what to do for her though. Such damage…"

"Perhaps a change would do her good, her gifts are turning in on themselves. If we aren't careful then our energies will begin clashing. I won't be able to work with her much longer."

"Do you think she is reacting to the Rifts? She is a storm essentially, Chaos given form."

A second male voice interjected into the conversation, a swirl of blue and flash of light. "It's always possible. She's spent a very long time living lives as a human. Not exactly the most comfortable existence I would imagine…" The swirl of blue and lightning formed into a young looking Chinese scholar-warrior, stroking the thin beard on his chin.

The door to the room opened, and gusts of cold air danced in to run icy fingers down the back of the human who was being discussed. Again, the body flinched in response, but the mind that operated the vehicle was far away, caught again in the endless loop that seized her, or perhaps in a myriad of other places. A tall, tanned man with scruff and sloppy clothing shut the door, paying little attention to the room that had been formerly clean and then cast back into disarray.

"Honey, I'm home." His voice drew out the syllables, attempting to be sing-song and sweet as his dark eyes fixed on the woman who had slowly begun to move her finger over the keyboard.

Instantly, a feral grimace pained the thin, pale face, and the woman spun around to pin the man with her icy, haunted eyes.

"Don't call me that Jaydan. You no longer have the right. It belongs to another." Rain's words fell out of her mouth, each carrying the slashing ability of a raindrop in a monsoon, hissed in such a way as to prevent the children elsewhere in the house from hearing the venom.

Silence filled the room after, heavy and dead as a country morgue after the staff had gone home. As sudden as the outburst had been, life retreated deep within again, drawn off to another, safer, place. The spirits frowned in unison, still displeased with the dishonor that had been brought upon the priestess and her House.

"Kyuryu, you're taking her with you tonight to that meeting you were going to. She needs to go home, she needs to be away from him for at least a bit." Raina ground out. She had already blighted his lawn years ago now, but that was all the damage that was in her power to inflict on him. "I despise not having more power over the affairs of mortals sometimes…"

"I think she'd be better off in the South again… She's always saner after an uninterrupted night there. But if you say so, Beautiful…" The golden light caressed the presence of the rain goddess thoughtfully before settling around the shoulders of Rain, who was still staring deadly into space. "I hate seeing her like this Raina. Too long now…"

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"KYAAAAA!" BlowingWind's voice carrying over the grounds of the shrine as Ryu flew backwards into a tree, his black training gi a contrast against the brown bark. He landed on his feet and doubled over, crossing his hands over his crotch and resting a moment.

When he could speak without squeaking, Ryu looked up at his girlfriend in pain and confusion. "Did you have to release fire into that? I've been a good dragon and not oversnuggled you lately… I've even not stuffed one of your shirts in my pillow…"

BlowingWind tucked a lock of her hair back behind her ear and advanced on him again, dropping down low to send a sweeping kick at his feet. Ryu jumped in the air and landed lightly behind her, grabbing the wrist that she supported her body with and yanking it upward, sending her to the ground. She countered, trying to pull him over her in a throw, teeth bared with all the ferocity of a tiger.

Ryu smirked and plopped down instead of going over, easily overbalancing her and pulling her into a hug. BlowingWind continued to struggle for a few moments as he held her tighter and forced her face into his chest. Unseen to all but eyes that possessed the gift to see spirits, his true shape wound around her tightly in addition to the human form that he disguised himself with.

"This isn't like you when we spar dear, what's wrong?"

Finally, BlowingWind wilted in his arms and clutched at his sides, the material bunching tightly. With the force of it causing her fists to shake, Ryu was glad that she had not managed to accidentally get any of his skin in her grip. A few seconds later, she was sobbing like a child.

"I don't know… We were practicing, and then something washed over me. I felt such deep despair, shame, and rage… at myself and to someone else." She began to tremble, and turned her head to place her left ear against his chest, listening to his heart. "But it wasn't me either…"

Ryu frowned and held her closer, consciously expressing a bit of his musk for her, purposefully filling the air with smell of rich earth and deep mountain forests in an effort to calm her. He rocked softly as he held her, closing his eyes for a moment as he tried to reach into her core to soothe her. Gently pushing his mind into hers, he cast about for whatever had triggered the unexpected emotions.

The blue eyes of a woman greeted his mental vision, as wide with surprise as his own surely would be. Though they easily could have passed for those of his bride to be, he could easily tell by the pattern in them that they belonged to a different woman. The eyes disappeared as suddenly as he had seen them.

When Ryu opened his eyes, BlowingWind was asleep. Standing up, he carefully lifted her and cradled her tightly before turning to the shrine's living quarters. He listened to the wind as it gusted curiously around him.

"Yah, I know… Been a while since anything weird has happened here."

The wind blew a little harder, picking up some dust and stray leaves that had fallen since the head priestess had made her rounds in the morning. With a little effort, the wind kami formed the face of the primary kami the shrine acknowledged.

"I think it would be a good idea to tell him, Chi is going to probably be busy worrying about this to him, but you saw what happened yourself… So…"

The dirt and leaves dropped back to the ground, the wind spirit already racing away down the path of the river, speaking with the water to find the location of the portion of the spirit it needed to commune with.

Ryu shook his head. "Crazy wind. Wonder if it even has a name…"

The grass gave way to carefully tended stone paths, and then the living quarters. Though constructed reminiscent of the old style of building, it was obvious how very new they still were, how few years had passed since the re-establishment of the shrine and return of the river and its protector spirit. Ryu used the tip of his tail to nudge the door open, concentrating on the use of his energy as naturally as if he were only using a physical hand.

Inside, the black robed Ten could be seen cheerfully arranging cushions in the common room, hints of blue peeking every now and then at the hems while his slightly messy short brown hair fell into his face.

"Hey Ten, did you feel anything strange? Like you were being watched?"

Ten raised his eyebrow and looked up, noting the sleeping shaman that his friend clutched so possessively.

"I'm a fertility spirit, someone's always trying to spy on me. But now that you mention it… it did feel 'those eyes' again. Been a while since the last time they showed up too." Ten took one of the cushion and put it on one end of the couch that was also in the room, before Ryu had a chance to deposit his treasure there.

"Last time we felt those, it was a mess… All sorts of stuff happened…"

"Yeah… Stay here with your mate, I'll get Chi."

"Bring some tea too… I could use some…"

Ten nodded and walked to the kitchen, calmer looking than he actually felt.

An older and wiser Chihiro was quietly humming and slicing vegetables and preparing their dinner, a teakettle already on the stove. Her chestnut hair pulled back, the white and blue clad woman had her own far away look. At her feet, a pale child with perfect jade orbs and night-black hair played contentedly, humming the lullaby that her father had most recently sung over mother and child.

"Chihiro? You feel anything strange just a bit ago?"

Slowly, brown eyes turned to look at the spirit of the feeding spring, only the slightest hints of the grey that the presence of the river spirit's energy would put there. "No, I'm afraid not Ten. I'm afraid my mind has been far away today."

Ten grunted. "Well, it has been about a month or so since you last slept beside Haku, the soulmating always leaves you rather distant when he isn't nearby.

"Uncle…" A small voice chimed as Gawakusa stopped her humming. "Mommy smells funny…"

Ten chuckled. "Your mommy always smells funny. You'll find out soon why though, we shouldn't speak of it just yet…" The kami walked over and scooped up the small dragon-child, making a few play noises at her. "Let's go play, hm? Mommy has to go check on your Auntie when she gets a minute."


End file.
